The Mean Reds

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds. You mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat, and maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Frustrated, disappointed, angry, hurt, confused, held back, defeated

vs.

Happy, content, loved, optimistic, liberated, limitless, encouraged

How can you be both at once? How can the best thing and the worst thing be happening at the same time? How can what should be the greatest time in your life be forced into one of the worst? Why is something that should be celebrated tearing things apart? Why is the place you should feel the most comfortable and supported turning into the place you don’t want to be?

I want to quit and run away.

I need a break.

I want things to work out.

I want to move forward.

I want to be happy.

This shouldn’t be so hard.