Not so much, sadly.

Would you believe me if I said

That we are the ones who can make the change in the world today

Would you believe me if I said

that all of the dreams in your heart can come true…..today…

would you believe me if I said

that life could be all that you want it to be …today…

and if I had wings I would fly

’cause all that I need You

are and if the world caved in around me

to You I’d still hold on

’cause You’re all that I believe

and the one that created me Jesus….

because of You I’m Free

Would you belive me if I said

that God can make miracles happen today

would you believe me if I said

that you don’t need to wait for the answer

before you step out in faith

would you believe me if I said that

nothin is ever impossible.. for God

Just live your life with God inside

you won’t regret one moment of it

and give all that you can for God. for God

Free by Hillsong…emphasis mine

Apparently it’s a two post kind of day… there’s so much going on inside my head right now. Dave Barnes was thinking about me when he wrote that line, “What I say out loud is only half of what’s in my head.” It’s so true. I have to be prompted to talk sometimes…

Yesterday I saw the Annie Armstrong slogan and it really caught my attention. Then…I saw it again. So, I took notice. The theme is “live with urgency.” When I read those words, it really hit me. Am I living with urgency? There is so much that God is calling me to…so much that He has equipped me to do. Am I doing it? And even scarier…is it bothering me that I’m not? Next to divisiveness, I think that complacency is one of the enemy’s biggest weapons against us. If we aren’t tearing one another down, we’re just not doing anything at all.

Yesterday I heard a presentation given by a 76 year old man who recently went on his first mission trip ever. He quoted a Cuban, and what she said has been haunting me ever since. He said that there was a missionary in Cuba, and she was stopped by a native who asked for help building a school. The missionary apologized and said that she didn’t have time to undertake that project. The native said, “That’s the problem with you Americans. You mean to, but you never DO.

That hit me square in the gut. Oh my…how many things have I meant to do for God’s kingdom…but I never actually did. How many things are on my heart right now…have been there for years, but I’ve never taken the initiative to do anything about them. I realized that one day I’m going to be held accountable for my actions…or rather in-actions. There are things that God has for me to do…just for me. If I don’t do them, will they get done? Sure they will, God doesn’t actually need me to do anything. He’s big enough to get the job done. But, the thing is, he wants me.

He created me to be just who I am. He could have made me any way he wanted…but He wanted me, Jennifer Christine…all 5′10″ of sarcasm and clumsiness and giggles. He created me to have a heart that is tender for the migrant workers of our county. He designed me to hurt for the poor, neglected and abused. He made my heart to ache for the child who may be filthy and not even speak my language, but who needs to be hugged and held and to feel love. He crafted me to be outraged at human trafficking, to be sickened at cruelty and abuse, to want to rescue and nurture and love.

Yes, He wanted me this way…He wouldn’t change a thing. But, am I living my purpose? What am I doing with this precision built heart? Hiding it away? Afraid to be bold? That is not ok…I can’t turn my head and continue my life. I have to ACT…to DO something. I have to make my Daddy proud.